doppel

~ Ultimate Doppelganger Theory ~

A Parody

By Christopher Clagg

Ok, Ok, I've GOT IT! Clare was in SA with Tom, where she fell in love with him, although at the time she was a dedicated reporter , and couldn't tell him because she was also seeing Mulligan, whom she really didn't love. But was using him to get her into the country because her passport had expired when her twin sister had eloped to Europe with a man she assumed was a high-volume vacuum cleaner salesman, but was in reality a KGB agent, who with advanced technology converted her alpha waves into beta and succeeded in turning her into an evil twin.

After this Clare had to dye her hair and wear over-sized clothes in an effort not to be mistaken for her sister, and although reporting was her first true love (other than Tom, whom she kept trying to convince to cut his hair, because the vacuum salesman had had long hair and of course that whole episode had left her with a fixation on hair. ) Anyway, unbeknownst to her however, Tom had eloped with Alyson, because she DIDN'T look like Clare and thought his hair was fine.

Meanwhile back in country of course the organization, whom we will discover in the last episode of the series is actually a group of vacuum cleaner salesmen DISGUISED as KGB who have plans to dominate the world cleaning market, hatch plans to erase Tom Veil by creating a DOUBLE with advanced vacuum technology. Because in the back of the humvee at the site of the execution, which just happened to take place while the group of salesmen were developing the ultimate vacuum machine, is an image of the VC-3000 the ULTIMO VACUUM MACHINE captured for all the world to see in Toms' photo. *THEY* then realize they have to stop Tom and get those negatives. The plan almost goes awry when a strawberry mole on the doubles' left shoulder is discovered and threatens the whole operation. After extensive surgery however the mole is moved to the right shoulder and the plan is back in action.

While all of this is happening of course Clare has moved to a small town in the middle of the USA that Tom2, the double has moved to. Actually his purpose was to take over the local Real Estate business that Mulligan also wanted to take over, because the vacuum salesmen organization wants to diversify their holdings, but he has been so occupied by Clare discovering him and going on and on about his hair that he is a complete wreck by the end of the first half hour of the show. Also, a second DOUBLE, or we can call him TRIPLE has arrived in town to of course take over from the defunct first double. Things begin to get complicated when Clare marries Mulligan but has an affair with the second double whom she tells she is going to have a baby, which at the time she really isn't, however by the third station break she really is going to have a baby but it is the FIRST DOUBLES' child because he had comforted her after the SECOND DOUBLE had rejected her after she had told him he was going to be a father .

When the real Tom Veil arrives in town, having temporarily lost his memory, but discovering it back, in black and white flashbacks during commercial breaks. Clare falls for him again, whom she mistakes for Double #2. The Public Defender who just wants to make it to the end of the show cleverly throws in the plotline of Killing off Clare for two re asons, (1) Because in a hourly thriller-drama series action is necessary to qualify for Emmy Nominations, and (2) because with only 15 minutes left before the end of the episode she has REALLY become obsessed with Clares' whining over the various Toms', #1, #2, #3.

Anyway in her effort to clinch an Emmy Nomination, the PD overplays her role and Tom (by this time I'm not sure which one) figures out what is really happening (which is one up on me, because I have no idea what's going on) She tries to trick Tom into getting the negatives, but mistakenly has had Tom2 brought in for questioning. Tom3 however, slighted at not getting the camera time that the other two Toms' have really does do in Clare. But afterward is yanked by the EVIL TWINS AND DOUBLES GUILD for unnecessary drama without any script approval. This leaves Tom2 going out to the pier at 8:45 pm because he's the only Tom left other than the REAL Tom, and the REAL TOM won't do it because he has a contract for at least 6 more episodes AND a second season if the network renews. So gloomily Tom2 goes out to the pier and is shot by the assassin, who is the brother -in - law of the guys who were the POLICE and gets to utter his first line: "I was aiming for his shoulder but he moved his head at the last second."

The REAL Tom of course, now assured of his identity, because the other two are gone listens to the tape recording of Boston that he recorded over the PD's lines during the station break and chucks the palmtop out the window...&127;

Ok, ok so I exaggerated... she didn't really dye her hair.

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The End